“I think it ought not to be set down as certain that a man must be acceptable to every woman he may happen to like himself.” Mansfield Park, Jane Austen

As usual this morning, I took a few moments to check my Facebook feed while getting ready for the day.  One particular post by my nineteen year old cousin caught my eye.  She is a student at ORU with a passion for theatre, particularly theatre make up.  This particular post was expressing her frustration in older men complimenting her and giving her their number, all completely unsolicited, at various places around town.  In an effort to lighten the post, she made a sly remark that it seemed to happen at places that start with “W,” namely Wal-Mart and Walgreens.
 

I was frustrated on her behalf.  Irritated because I have been there.  Annoyed that this happened to her because unsolicited compliments sometimes happened (and still happen) to me.  And I think, in a way, I felt indignation that this continues to happen to women.

 

My initial reaction was to start typing a comment replying to my cousin with any number of coping mechanisms.  The reply I was forming started to read something like this… “Learn a more obscure foreign language and pretend you don’t understand them.  Or turn to any other older woman nearby and pass the number to them.  Or tell them that you dad screens all your calls.”  And then a voice rose up in me that said NO.

No to coping.  No to feeding into the flawed system that perpetuates all of this.  Because in brushing it off, in coping, in using any of the above techniques it is doing the one thing that seems to happen all too often.  The thing I did too many times.  SILENCE.  It silences her voice, and it takes away her agency.

 

So I deleted everything and posted this instead… Call them out on it. You have a voice. A strong voice. Use it.

Off and on this year I have been drawn to 1 Samuel 25 and the story of Abigail.  The Bible tells us that she was an intelligent and beautiful woman.  And when her foolish husband got angry and hot headed and brought trouble to their home and their people, she stood up, she took action, and she stepped forward and SPOKE.  She spoke to David. And she spoke to her husband.

 

I feel like too often as women, in and out of the church, we have been silent.  And there is still a place for politeness.  Abigail chose to respond with respect and kindness.  I’m not saying that my cousin should be rude.  Or that any other woman should be unkind. 

BUT… we need to use our voice.  It’s just as wrong to respond rudely to unsolicited and inappropriate comments as it is to not respond at all.  So to my cousin, I say literally use the words “That was inappropriate.” And when a man replies that he was only trying to compliment you, respond with something like this, “You are looking at what I am without trying to know who I am.  It’s in appropriate because I haven’t expressed interest in you.  It’s in appropriate because you are presuming my interest.”

 

So what do you do when he asks your name or your number? First of all, he shouldn’t be asking for a number without your name. Again, because he’s not expressing interest in who you really are.  And as for giving either of those out, don’t accept the premise of the question.  What does that mean?  That means, don’t accept the implication that you owe him your name or number or your time.  You can say, “I’m not comfortable sharing that information.” And when he accuses you of being rude, remind him that you came to the store for supplies, not for unwanted attention.  And walk away.  Ask a store employee (preferably male, although you might be surprise how many females would stand and walk with you) to escort you to your car if you feel even the smallest bit uncomfortable.

It isn’t that you are someone’s daughter, someone’s sister, someone’s niece or cousin.  It’s inappropriate because you are.  Because you are a person.  Because you have agency.  But you have a voice.  And when you speak up for yourself, you speak up for all girls and for all women.

the work of our hands

Several years ago, our church was blessed with a wonderful new leader.  Our new pastor told us, prior to becoming our pastor, that he had lots of change in mind.  After an amazing four years of continual growth, change has become the only constant.  Recently we acquired a new campus, which was a church built in the 90's and also happened to be very small and hadn't been updated since its initial building. As teams began to rework the building to make it more efficient and better fit the current needs, it has become very apparent that it's easier to tear things out than it is to rebuild.

Several years back, I participated in a campus beautification project.  A group of about twenty young ladies and I were given the task of cleaning out old flowers from a large flower bed and planting in new flowers in their place.  We had that flower bed cleaned out in about forty minutes flat.  But it took an hour and a half to plant the new flowers in their place.  Literally twice as long to plant new life as it took to tear it out:

In John 10:10 Jesus says "the thief comes to kill, steal and destroy; I have come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly."  Killing, stealing, and destroying are quick work.  Yes, it might be dragged out over a long time.  But it can also happen quickly.  In the life of Job, he lived years in favor before destruction and suffering poured down on him swiftly.  And yet, there was restoration.  God brought back all that had been taken from him.

And that is the difference-- not merely a fast refund.  No, the "more abundantly" takes time.  It's a LONG TERM commitment.  Recently we submitted our taxes (or hopefully you at least filed for an extension).  For those fortunately ones who are due a refund, it arrives as either a direct deposit or as a refund check.  Quicky deposited.

But God is about more than reimbursement.  This is an extended thing, a lifetime thing.  Ephesians 2:10 reminds us "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which He has prepared in advance."  A workmanship is a masterpiece. Finely crafted.  A time investment.  And "created" is not just a past verb.  No, this verb is actually a present progressive tense verb, which is grammar-speak for continually happening.  A more accurate translation: we are created and continuing to be created.  A work in progress.  Forever in motion.  We are His long-term investment with compounded interest.  And that is why new life takes work-- time to clear out what isn't healthy, to dig space for new roots, to enrich, to water and give light and a breath of fresh air.

A Step of Faith

For the past few weeks, I've been thinking over this concept of faith-- what it is and what it means.  Our church finished a series in February about decisions and the power of both making decisions and the importance of making pre-decisions.  It has flowed seamlessly into the month of March's series "Fence the Family," which is focused on keeping out what doesn't belong inside, of setting healthy boundaries and maintaining those boundaries.

Our pastor would be the first to admit that these are not the goose bump-inducing, feel-good messages.  They are direct, often hitting close to home.  As he pointed out last week during Spring Cleaning,  we have to continually assess our lives, constantly clean out the things that snuck in and are building up.  We never "arrive."

And all of this to say, I have been thinking about that moment when we realize that, yet again, we are struggling with this same problem.  When our life gets "bumped," as Jeanne Mayo said at a retreat I was at this weekend, and yet again things come out of us that we didn't realize were in there.  It's frustrating and can be so discouraging to feel like we're back at square one. 

In those moments when I am painfully aware of all of my short comings, my stumbling blocks, and what I've allowed to creep up in my life again, I have a decision to make.  I can hide, curl up in a ball of hurt and wallow in self-loathing.  Or I can go to God with it.

I had the incredible privilege of sitting in on a session that Jeanne led that was focused on supporting people through failure.  She said that often people going through failure will avoid you.  There is shame and even at times a reluctance or refusal to admit wrong.  We hide, much like Adam and Eve when they ate forbidden fruit and hid. 

But when we hide, when we wallow in our own depravity, it's even more of a slap in the face to God.  Because in those moments we are making our sin, in all of its awfulness, bigger than God.  Because the sin that kept us from God is still further keeping us from God.  We use it as a shield, attempting to hide from truth and as a wall to push away the very grace we need in that moment.  Because we think our human feelings mean more than the unfathomable love, grace, and mercy that are the core of who He is and are the very things He most longs to give us in those moments.

A few weeks ago, one of my preschoolers got in trouble during class.  For the sake of privacy, I'm going to call her Faith.  This beautiful, sweet girl is so kind and loving.  But there was a misunderstanding with some instructions from another leader, and she accidentally disobeyed.  When she realized she had done something wrong, she was devastated.  She was so upset, she literally sat in the hallway outside of the room and curled herself into as small of a ball as she could manage and wept and wept.

When I went to talk to her and to try to figure out exactly what had happened, it took quite some time to get her to look at me or to really hear anything that I was saying.  My heart broke, because she had so much shame.  She was so broken over her mistake that she struggled for a long time to accept even a hug or a kind word as I attempted to calm her down.  Faith continued to tell me how bad she was and that she just wanted to go home.  I know this girl, and I know her ways.  She is none of the things she thought she was.

And in these last few days, God has been showing me that when I'm curled up and overwhelmed with my mistake, He's standing right there.  He wants to pick me up, correct, and restore me in LOVE.  In grace.  In His mercy.  And in that moment I have a choice to make.  I can continue to wallow in all that I think and feel, all that the world would see me as... or I can make another choice.

In making that other choice, I choose to make the simplest and yet one of the hardest steps of faith.  Our pastor often reminds us that "God loves you, and there is nothing you can do about it."  We can't out-sin His love.  Hebrews 11:1 is the infamous faith chapter, and it reminds us "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."  The first step of faith anyone can make and the one we must continue to make is that step to turn to Him in our failure.  To turn toward the grace.

I have not yet read the book, but as Beth Moore so eloquently summed up in So Long Insecurity, "God knows exactly what happened and what a toll it took, He knows the number it played on your mind. Let Him bring you peace. Let Him tell you you’re worth wanting, loving, even liking, pursuing, fighting for, and, yes, beloved, keeping. Whatever you do, don’t reject the only One wholly incapable of rejecting you.”  Take that first single step of faith, and He will be faithful to take the rest of those steps to meet you where you are, at the depth of failure, and allow Him to lift you back up to restoration.

Mere Mortals

A few weeks ago, I decided that I was going to set goals for 2014.  I sat down with a poster board and some pen & paper and wrote out goals in health, finances, personal goals, etc for the year.  I'm still finishing out my poster, although the list is there to keep my goals in front of me.

One of my goals was to blog 3 times a week.  It seems reasonable, and that's still a goal.  Recently at a leadership meeting, one of the pastors I served under talked about how he is so focused on sticking to a plan that he sometimes sticks 100% to the plan at the expense of other things.  Unfortunately, I can sympathize all too much.  Just last Friday NBC aired the coverage of the Opening Ceremonies in Sochi. I LOVE the Opening Ceremonies to all Olympics.  Yes, every nation glosses over its dark parts, but I think it gives a picture not of what a country is but of what that country aspires to be. 

But before I get off on too long of a rabbit trail, one of the things I like is to watch the ceremonies with my family.  I'd mentioned it several times the days before, even texting my dad on Friday to let him know when the coverage started. After work, no one was home, but I assumed they would be along later.  And they were... hours later.  Just before the torch lighting.  I was so focused on my expectations, that I didn't enjoy it as much as I should or could have.  And that was my choice.  And also one of my struggles-- I don't like change to my plans unless I choose to change them myself.

So... back to goals and blogging... On Sunday I was at church from 8:40AM until at least 5:30PM because of major changes in the lay out of one of the ministries I'm involved in.  We were moving a great many things, purging old toys, sorting, and reorganizing rooms.  Monday was the book club I lead, and then Tuesday was a leadership meeting.  Church was tonight, which was the first night in new rooms, lots of parents looking around for new classes, and a lot of change-- a few tears from kids, and a lot of reassurances... It's been a packed week.

I am fighting the urge to make up something to write.  Fighting the urge to scour through my readings and random other sources that spark a blog entry.  And instead I'm reminding myself that goals are fantastic, but they are just goals.  It's okay to give my Type A urges a break.  To set off perfectionism, when perfection is never actually possible.  And to remember some self care, and remind myself that my goal setting did not factor a week like this. That it's okay to scale back to something (dare I say it?) more realistic for a week like this.

I hope to blog once more this week, but if I don't quite manage it, I'm still here.  I'll be back, and until then, don't forget to give yourself a little break, too.  Even Jesus took time out from ministry to rest.  Don't forget to breathe.

Find Your "Why?"

One of the most important questions, if not THE most important question, we can ask is "Why?"  If you were to ask my mom, she would tell you that I almost drove her crazy as a young child with this question.  I am analytical, curious, and observant.  Sometimes the answer was "it just is."

But in our faith and our walk with God, it's important to ask not only why things are the way they are, but also to know the WHY in our life.  My last blog entry was about serving, volunteering, and today I'm addressing one of the most important parts of serving-- know your "why."

No matter what area of ministry you choose, it's vital to know what motivates you to serve.  It's important.  Without knowing why you do what you do, it's easy to give it up.  It's easy to dismiss it, or to lose focus and burn out.  And as a speaker reminded our young adult leadership team a few weeks ago, God CAN choose someone else to do what He's calling you to do... BUT no one else will do it in the same way you could have.  That's a lot of responsibility, and I think it needs a good motivation.

Yes, we should all be motivated by the fact that God called us, that He has a plan for us that involves reaching others.  As a speaker named Derek Moody once shared in chapel when I was undergrad, "A faith worth having is a faith worth sharing."

I've been involved in a lot of ministries in my church over the years, and over these last few I've found myself more and more involved in the preschool services.  I have built relationships with kids and volunteers.  I love watching the kids grow in who they are, in their gifts and talents, in their relationships with each other, and in their relationships with God.

But here are my reasons WHY I believe so fiercely in preschool ministry and why I spend so much time investing into this:

1. I believe that preschool is a time in everyone's life when they first begin to remember things.  Most people's first memory is somewhere around age 3 or 4.  What if a child's first memory was about how loved they were when they came to church?  What if it was about how special they felt and how welcomed they felt?  That's what I want my church's ministry to be.  As a speaker once said to us back when I was in undergrad, the church should be such a welcoming and loving place that we're like Flintstone's Vitamins-- 10 million strong and growing.  She also wondered what it would be like for a child to feel such a sense of family and love and acceptance from their church family that when the child is older, he or she doesn't have to look for that love and acceptance anywhere else.

2. I believe that preschool is a time when kids are curious and starting to open up to new people and new experiences.  They are forming beliefs and values and learning at one of the most rapid paces they will ever learn in their lives.  What if we were opening them up to faith?  What if they opened up and increased OUR faith?  I love their imaginations and ideas.  I love that one of my 5 year olds was so concerned about Captain Hook's meanness that the little boy wanted to us to pray that Captain Hook would know about Jesus.

3. I believe that when kids are having fun and feel loved and accepted, that they want to come back.  When that happens, parents feel confident about leaving their children with capable staff and then the parents are able to relax and receive that day, too.  I hate when we have kids who come to us crying only because I know how excited our volunteers are to see new and familiar faces..  We have fun things planned, and we hate to see any kid go through stress of separation.  But... I secretly love when they cry because they have to leave.  Because they had fun and don't want to go home.  Because they weren't done playing.  If you love and accept their kid, you've almost always won over the family.

But most importantly...
4. Because they really do learn what we are teaching, and it is getting into their hearts.  We do NOT, let me repeat do NOT, babysit kids.  Both our Sunday and Wednesday curriculum is designed to engage kids in God's truth and to help them learn about who God is and how much He loves them.  For those curious, we use What Is Orange's First Look on Sunday and a curriculum called Lil' K on Wednesdays. 

And here's the thing... there are always those kids that you kind of wonder about.  You're not sure if they really get it or not.  You talk and teach, try to engage, hope it's sinking in.  We've had some really funny stories from preschoolers who said that Jesus had two dads-- Abraham (we were singing Father Abraham that day) and God.  Sort of right, but I digress.

And then some days, when you least expect it, they totally stun you with the depth and breadth of what they learned.  Last fall, some time in  mid September or so, we were doing a unit on Joseph and his family.  That Sunday we drew pictures of our family.  That was it, no extra things involved.  We were simply talking about how Joseph had so many brothers, and could they draw pictures of their families to tell us about it... And that's when one of my 4 year olds drew this:

We were almost ready to go to the next room for the Bible story, when the little girl handed me this.  Before I could ask her to put it on the stack to hang up for later, she began with no prompting to tell me that it was her family.  She is in the middle and her mommy is on the right.  But the first person in the picture is her daddy, and he doesn't have any hearts because he doesn't have Jesus in his heart but he needs to do that.  My jaw dropped open, and the other teacher and I couldn't look at each other because we were both so in shock and so emotional.

At four years old she understood the spiritual truths that were being poured into her.  Her attendance is semi-regular, so it's not like one of our every week kids, either.  But the truth was getting into her mind AND her heart.  At four she already had a heart to reach her family.

So go out there, find a place to serve.  And somewhere in there, find your why.  Your why might be in the place you least expect it.  It might not be obvious.  But find it.  You won't regret it.

The Sweet Spot

My church has two core focuses that are central to everything we do.  They are:
1. That the lost are saved
2. That everyone find their sweet spot in ministry.

I was very blessed to go to a school for undergrad that taught that everyone is a missionary, that everyone is a minister.  It doesn't matter your vocation or your major.  It doesn't matter if you ever go to college.  You have a purpose.  And if you have accepted Christ, you have a job to do.

At my church we believe that the local church is the hope of the world.  A local church grounded in God and in the truth of His word.  At its most basic, that truth and God's love is never meant for only one person.  Your salvation is never just for you--it's for you and for those who God puts in your path, for you to extend that truth and love to others.

One of the greatest ways to do this is to volunteer in your local church.  My church has ministry opportunities across the board, in every area of ministry, from the simple to complex, from entry level to some pretty serious discipleship and leadership development.  I firmly believe that God calls everyone to be involved.

Our pastor calls it the "sweet spot."  I've worked in a lot of areas of my church.  For about a year I was part of the side walk greeting crew, and I have to admit I was terrible at recruiting.  Nobody was thrilled about standing out there.  It's an easy job.  It was fun to wave, and people were generally happy to have a greeting.  But it wasn't my sweet spot.  I've been to some youth events, but a few visits is enough to show me that it's not my sweet spot, either.  But it is for many of my friends.  Nothing is more exciting to them than to show up to serve, to see the impact God's love can have through us.

You might be reading this thinking that's nice, gotta go...    But hang on there just a sec.  You can serve.  You should serve.  Peter says in 1 Peter 4:10 "Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms."  That means YOU.  You are an each one.  If you've given your life to God, accepted His grace, then you have a job.

So... where do I start?
1. Pray.  No, don't pray about whether or not you should serve.  God wants you to serve.  He pretty well covered that in the verse above, and in a dozen other places in the Bible.  Pray that God will help direct you where to serve.

And now it's time to take some more big steps...
2. Ask 'What?'.  Look around your church.  What interests you?  Is there an area where you can serve that lines up with your gifts and talents?  I think sometimes we make a quick reflexive decision about people and pigeon hole them into a ministry.  For example, I often hear of people mentioning that they are teachers, so people push them into kid's or youth ministry.  And sometimes it's what they want and it's a good fit... and sometimes they need a break from kids.  If you're warm and inviting, maybe greeting is the ministry for you.  If you aren't a people person, maybe the church office has some things you could do during the week.  Our church will often have volunteers come into the office during the week to do data entry, to copy things, to prep things for upcoming events and services.

3. Ask 'When'?  Find out what sort of commitment they want for different ministries.  Be realistic about your schedule.  For example, our young adult ministry has a big college student component. This means that some leaders are still in college and have to work around class schedules.  So our young adult pastor asks for a semester commitment.  He outlines when the meetings will be and what else is expected (consistent attendance at church, consistently showing up for the connect group and for meetings) for that single semester.  If a leader had a heavy schedule and needs the semester off, he or she can be welcomed back again when the schedule accommodates it.  There are unusual circumstances at times that mean having to take a break, but the general commitment is agreed upon up front.

4. Ask 'How?' How does the ministry work?  It might be helpful to get an inside look.  Ask if there is a current volunteer that you can spend time shadowing.  I'm the sort of person, I like to know what's expected of me.  I like to see the inner workings.  Tag along on a day when you can see what the job will entail.  For example, in our kids ministry we have nursery, preschool, and elementary areas.  Within those areas, there are even more break downs of jobs.  We have people whose sole job is to greet kids and parents, some whose job is to oversee the jump house before and after service and then to sit with the kids during the service, others to run sound, and another whose job is to keep time to be sure everything runs on schedule.  Take a test drive. 

Jesus himself was pretty clear that it takes people to make things happen.  God could instantly reveal Himself to the world en mass.  He doesn't need us, but He loves to involve us.  And one of the most basic ways He involves us is through the local church.  Try it.  You might be surprised how much you enjoy it, how much it makes you grow, how much it blesses you.

Speak Life

In January my church always does a series called "Breakthrough."  This year, each week we have been given a challenge for the week.  I have to be honest and admit I can't remember this week's... but last week the challenge was to Speak Life. 

While thinking about that challenge, I also began to reflect further on the meeting I attended last week where our speaker talked about how we overlook the beginnings of many of the chapters in the New Testament.  When it comes to the letters, we gloss over the opening lines because it's "just" the introduction.  But as we began to look closer, we started to see what Paul in particular was doing in his letters, the spiritual legacy he was building.

Tonight I was reading in 1 Thessalonians 1, and I got caught up completely in the opening.  I began to read:
1 Paul, Silas and Timothy, To the church of the Thessalonians in God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ: Grace and peace to you.   2 We always thank God for all of you, mentioning you in our prayers. 3 We continually remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ. 4 For we know, brothers loved by God, that he has chosen you, 5 because our gospel came to you not simply with words, but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and with deep conviction. You know how we lived among you for your sake. 6 You became imitators of us and of the Lord; in spite of severe suffering, you welcomed the message with the joy given by the Holy Spirit. 7 And so you became a model to all the believers in Macedonia and Achaia. 8 The Lord's message rang out from you not only in Macedonia and Achaia--your faith in God has become known everywhere. Therefore we do not need to say anything about it, 9 for they themselves report what kind of reception you gave us. They tell how you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God, 10 and to wait for his Son from heaven, whom he raised from the dead--Jesus, who rescues us from the coming wrath.   

Paul makes a point to speak life into the church and its leadership, to honor the hard work they are doing.  So many times, we forget how much work goes into ministry.  Tonight my church celebrated life change through a service called Basics.  It was a celebration that included both baby dedications and a lot of baptisms, over 50 people were baptized. 

But what most people didn't see or may not have noticed was the work that went into tonight.  Planning, organizing, and a lot of effort when into the service.  It took people to monitor changing rooms, passing out shirts and towels, many people directing traffic, a crew of guys to set up extra chairs when it turned into standing room only.... and that's nothing of the work it took our youth to have their service and the incredible, faithful people who were behind the scenes with younger children.

Paul shows that he honors time and effort.  Church planting is hard.  The churches were undergoing major persecution, and he understood that words of life refresh the spirit.  Don't forget to speak life into your leaders and to those who serve with you.  Honor their time, commitment, and efforts.

The Chocolate Bunny

Several years back (we're talking something like 2007 ish) I spent a lot of time with my friend Cindy and her family.  That year her youngest son, Matthew, was about 3 or 4 years old.  For Easter, he received a chocolate bunny.  It wasn't one of those little ones; no, this was a huge chocolate bunny, several feet tall and in a shiny box.

He insisted that she display the box in the living room, where he could look at it when ever he liked.  Most kids would be eager to eat it immediately, to savor every bite of the milk chocolate.  But not Matthew.  He refused to let anyone open it, because he didn't want it to get messed up.  It sat there and sat there, before Easter, and I think it lasted a bit after Easter as well.  He was so preoccupied with having that chocolate bunny that he didn't want to enjoy the bunny for the reason it was actually created-- to EAT it.

At a leadership meeting earlier this week, our speaker talked about Colossians 1 and about building spiritual legacy.  He began to read from the chapter, reading verses 9-12:
 For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives,^{[e] 10} so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, ¹¹ being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, ¹² and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you^[f] to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.

We began to discuss what it means to have knowledge of God's will and wisdom and understanding.  One of our leaders talked about how part of that knowledge and understanding is helping those we lead to see and understand their gifts and abilities, as well as giving opportunities to draw out and develop those gifts and abilities.

Ultimately, though, we are still left with the choice to USE the gifts or not.  We can leave them on the shelf, admire our gifts, and maybe others will even admire the gifts, too.  But gifts are meant to be used.  To be put into practice.  Otherwise they are merely decoration, and in time might even grown stale.

My church, Woodlake Church, has 2 main objectives, which our pastors discuss when people want to join the church, objectives they have done their best to ingrain into all leaders:
1.  That the lost are would be found
2. That everyone finds their sweet spot in ministry.

I have friends with many talents.  My friend Katie is an extrovert, she is gifted in welcoming people, in drawing them into conversation.  My friend Jerrid is gifted in planning and putting together events.  In the preschool ministry I'm a part of, I have friends who love babies and can spend all morning with them.  Others in our ministry don't really enjoy babies, but they can spend hours with five year olds.  The point is, they are using their gifts, developing their gifts.  They opened the box.

Shut Up and Listen

The other night I was at a leadership meeting, and we had a guest speaker.  He talked about a lot things, but one of things that seems to be popping up again and again was the thing he said his grandfather taught him-- Shut up and listen.  You probably had to be there to hear it with the Italian accent. 

Again at our prayer meeting last night, our young adult pastor Brandon, brought up the importance of not just talking to God, but also the importance of taking time to listen.  To be still and quiet.  Much of our thirty minutes of prayer was directed to this.

So as the worship team quietly continued, I found myself opening up my Bible to Jeremiah 33.  Earlier Brandon had referenced Jeremiah 33:3, but as I began to read through the entire chapter, I began to realize some things...

1. Sometimes God has to get us in a place where we have little choice but to be still.  In the first verse, it says "Jeremiah was still confined in the courtyard."  I can be stubborn.  I have good intuition, and I'm often right.  What's worse is that sometimes I know it.  And sometimes I rely so much on this gift of intuition that I forget it's not from me.  It's a gift.  And it's not my source.  It's not the main thing.  And there are times when God has to strip things away, to confine me in situations so that I (hopefully) remember to rely on Him.  To look for Him.  To look TO Him.

2. We still get to make choices, whether to listen or to keep doing our own thing.  I can't imagine that being confined was Jeremiah's first (or second or third...) choice.  He could have stressed out about his situation.  And maybe he did at times.  He could have become angry at God, which is a perfectly human response.  In my personal life, I'm feeling confined right now-- and up until the last few days, I have been spiritually kicking and screaming in protest. 

But sometimes it's what it takes to get us (me) to listen.  To reach a point where I've exhausted all of myself, cried it out, shouted it out.  Like a four year old throwing the epic tantrum, exhausted, and finally ready to calm down and listen to the voice of reason.  In Jeremiah 33, Jeremiah reached that point of listening long before I have.

One of my mentors, Keith Kochner, likes to say "Every moment is a choice, and every choice has prices and benefits."  As I read the rest of the chapter, it wasn't a popular message.  There is a warning of coming destruction, but there is a lot of hope.  And in the meantime, we can get distracted, get upset.  We have choices, including the choice to shut up and listen.

10,000 hours

I remember reading, ages ago in who only knows where, that someone had calculated the number of hours it takes to become an expert in any given field. Recently I came across the name Malcolm Gladwell, and I discovered that his book "Outliers" is the book where this claim is made. A quick google search shows that this claim is controversial, denied by some. And I will say that I can see some truth to the doubts-- there are some things that I could practice for 10,000 hours and still probably not have much success.

That said, I've struggled through the last month or so through days of self doubt, days of frustration, and another round of insecurities. We all have them. I'm freely admitting I have more than my fair share. I over-think everything. Over analyze. Over-whatever else you can come up with.

In the past my New Year's resolutions have run along the lines of deciding to make healthier choices that serve me. In all areas of my life. But that's vague and ambiguous, and hard to remember when I'm in the middle of overthinking yet something else.

And maybe this is ambiguous, too, but I was thinking over Gladwell's claim, and I've decided that I'm going to do what I can to make this a year of becoming an expert in happiness. In taking more time to do things that make me happy. Carving out that time when I volunteer. Reading the books I've put off. And developing my craft of writing. Spending time with my friends and parents doing things that we enjoy together. Singing to the radio. Singing in the shower. Sharing a hug or a smile. Small, simple things. Maybe not 10,000 exactly. And I know there are far less than 10,000 hours in a year. But it's a start. And if I don't start looking for happiness and creating happiness for myself, it won't happen on its own.